10 OSM Searches I’m Thankful For

November 24, 2011
By Lisa Barone in Online Marketing

Happy Thanksgiving, friends!

It’s time to take stock of what we’re thankful, things that perhaps we don’t always appreciate the rest of the year. I know that here at Outspoken Media, one thing we’re most thankful for is you. We’re thankful for your support, that you hangout with us every week, and that some of you find us by searching the most ridiculous terms ever on the Internet. Yes, you.

Before we all gorge ourselves on turkey, stuffing and pumpkin pie, I thought it might be fun to pay homage to some of the crazy ways you guys found Outspoken Media over the past couple of months.


Below are a handful of the searches folks used to find us over the past few months. They’re our favorite zany Web searches of the bunch. If you want to keep the giggle train going, feel free to share your own below.

[(not provided)] : Ha, you guys are so silly. Why on Earth would you be typing this into your search box to fin—oh wait. YOU’RE NOT! Thanks, Google! #totallynotbitter #wedontneedtoknowwhatyouresearchingfor #conversiondatawhat

[how to set up a proposal on social media for a company] : How are we supposed to help you if you can’t even explain what you’re looking for? A proposal on social media? For a company? Are you looking for a social media policy? Or one of our proposals we give to clients about how we’ll help them in social media? I’m so confused. Go do your search again because no one’s feeling lucky with that hot mess.

[chief brand officer job description] : Given the sheer number of times this was searched for, I’m pretty sure it’s my dad fruitfully trying to figure out what the hell it is I do for the millionth time. Don’t worry, Daddy, I’ll bring a flowchart to Thanksgiving dinner to help you figure it out. Again. And then we can have the exact same conversion when I come home for Christmas. This is why I drink.

[how to torment someone] : YOU ARE A BAD PERSON, Internet! Do you hear me? BAD!

[how do i know he’s the one] : Oh, honey. The Internet is not the place to find the answer to this question. This is why God created Lifetime movies. To show you the absolute worst humanity has to offer so that you feel better about your situation. I mean, it’s hard to be too down onyour life after you’ve spent two hours watching a movie about the mother of a high school cheerleader who is imprisoned after she gets pregnant by her daughter’s boyfriend and then sells the baby on the black market so her husband doesn’t find out. What? You know you’ve watched that one, too. Don’t judge me.

[what do customers want to see on a webpage] : Magic! And faeries! AND SPRINKLES! I have no idea what we’re talking about anymore.

[how to poop now] : I don’t really want to publicly admit how many DIFFERENT poop-related queries we have staring at us in our analytics but, well, it’s a lot. And it’s why we will never let Joe Hall guest post on our blog again. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, do a search for it. You’ll find it. And then I’ll make fun of you the NEXT time I do this blog segment.

[you may run like this, but look like this] : It’s simply unfair for this to appear in our logs WITHOUT an image or video to go along with it. Because in my mind there is a gif, and it’s hilarious. It may even include James VanDerBeek. [Bonus points if you can find the piece of media you think goes along with this query and post it in our comments. Extra bonus points if you create the video yourself.]

[life quotes to print lisa barone] : That’s it. In 2012 I will publish an 800-page hardcover book with my best compiled life quotes from the blog/Twitter. Don’t believe me? JUST WAIT!

[title for blog] : Like, are you asking me for suggestions? Okay. How to SEO an Artichoke? Oh, wait, that’s already taken. I’ll get back to you!

That’s it from us. What’s sitting in your analytics that always makes you laugh? Share it in the comments and we’ll see you next week.


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