Comments on: Creating & Defining Relationships on the Web

By: Nathan Hangen

Nathan Hangen — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 23:20:09 +0000

You are absolutely right…and being at bwe09 proved that to me. Meeting people I know online was neither awkward nor difficult. It was like we’d known each other for years.

By: Srinivas Rao

Srinivas Rao — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 14:10:19 +0000

Interesting post Lisa. It”s funny you brought this up because just today I wrote a blog post called “How to become a connector” based on the concepts in Malcom Gladwell’s book The Tipping Point. I myself have also made many friends through the online world. My ex gf got to know each other by talking online for a month first after meeting at some internet event in real life.

As far as social media for marketers goes, my biggest piece of advice I give to anybody on the corporate side, especially when I do job interviews at places like agencies is that authenticity is key. Consumers can see right through your marketing efforts, so you need to be real.

By: Aussiewebmaster

Aussiewebmaster — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 02:03:06 +0000

Funny how many people have met and gotten married through online social networks… guess they don’t count either – was going to drop an affiliate dating link in here but know Lisa too well from online to do that

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 20:47:45 +0000

There’s a problem with creating online friendships – they don’t come with the real baggage of real life friendships. We learn about others online what they want us to see. Be careful with “online relationships” of a personal nature.

By: Rob Woods

Rob Woods — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 20:16:47 +0000

Hi Lisa, I absolutely agree with you. I’ve met people on various social sites and formed social or working relationships with them or at least got a real sense of their personalities before either meeting them offline or working with them in a more involved way online (or, as in your case, simply made random smartass comments to someone I’ve never met). In many cases the people I’ve met have been separated from me by vast distances and I never would have had an opportunity to get to know them were it not for the current state of the technology powering social interaction online. Having said that I haven’t become friends with or formed a business relationship with someone I wouldn’t have had I met them through “traditional” means. Online social interaction hasn’t changed the quality of the relationships, just increased the quantity.

By: Lisa Barone

Lisa Barone — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 19:04:32 +0000

Cory: Ha! I love seeing how well small business owners are grabbing onto social media and using it to grow their businesses. And yeah, we’re all a bunch of shallow jackasses in the end anyway. :p

Todd: Me uninhibited? I have no idea what you’re talking about…

Sunny: I think academics just look at things from a completely different perspective. They’re like the parents in the room telling us turn our music down. Hearing it proclaimed that the Web has limited relationships and made it harder for people to connect…makes me wonder if we’re on the same Web.

Michelle: There are definitely some verbal cues IRL that can help determine if someone is worth your time or a douchebag but…how often do we ignore those cues anyway when we want to? How often do we convince ourselves that “Joan” is a good person because we want to believe she is…and then she screws us over? Twice. At the same time, I think a lot of people are a lot more open when talking to someone via a computer screen, which actually helps you get to know them BETTER, not worse, which I felt like the article implied.

I think I probably look at things like this a bit differently because it’s so much easier for me to communicate with people online than it is IRL due to speech issues. So for me, the Web is AWESOME for creating real relationships that make it easier to transition them offline. But again, I do everything backwards. :)

By: Michelle Robbins

Michelle Robbins — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 18:15:20 +0000

Terrific points on real and online relationships being fraught with the same issues of honesty and integrity, and that you get out what you put in. You’re spot on about people being phony in real life as well, and that you only know as much as someone allows you to know about them – in meatspace or online. I think the critical difference is that in person, there are other ways of evaluating someone’s meaning, intentions, honesty – all non-verbal. And these non-verbal cues often give more insight into a person than anything they broadcast online.

There’s a chapter in Blink – whoohoo! another academic to skewer!! ;-) – all about tiny facial movements and what they reveal – and how even pre-speech infants glean information from them to understand & communicate with people. I don’t think the value of face to face communication can ever be overestimated when dealing with relationships, and I read the article as more of a discussion of “is this getting lost” more than an “online networking disconnects us” statement.

By: Sunny

Sunny — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 18:14:45 +0000

I’m from an entrepreneur from the U.K and have started to follow Outspoken Media as their insights, opinions are really on point. I hate it when academics and so called self appointed experts do these reports, when they have no real hands on experience, where their own neck is on the line. I would recommend listening to people who are living and breathing it and have tangeable results i.e they have taken a business from A to B, to back up their knowledge/expertise. Also, a suggestion to OutSpoken, you guys would do extremely well in the U.K, as we are a bit behind in terms of social media and its relationship with business and you guys in the U.S seemed to be ahead of the curve in this respect, in terms of thinking and application. There are so many businesses here that want to engage etc. but don’t have a clue and are underserved.

By: Todd Mintz

Todd Mintz — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 17:44:23 +0000

The wonderful thing about these online relationships is that not only is one able to connect deeply with people one would never otherwise meet but one can also connect with people that one would meet in person but probably not “hit it off” with.

Lisa, your remarkably uninhibited nature has made you a master of the social medium and others less successful could learn a lot from emulating you.

By: Cory Huff

Cory Huff — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 17:24:32 +0000

“I think social media is one of the greatest advantages a SMB owner has.” – This is why small consultancies are running circles around big marketing & pr firms. This weekend I met a CEO of a big PR firm and she told me that all of her clients – all of them – are freaking out about social media and she literally cannot get them to get on the social media train. Too bad.

We connect in ways we choose. You can certainly create an academic study that points the data in whatever direction you choose. It’s all about framing the question. If you did a study that asked people what kind of in depth relationships they have formed online, you’d get different responses. Most relationships IRL are shallow anyway, so a shallow online relationship is no surprise.